I will set fire to what you refuse to release.

California is on fire like it hasn’t seen in a generation. One of the reasons I left. I hated driving under an orange sky. Worse than a nuclear sunset. The color doesn’t change. The only thing people generally beg for is rain. What you get during Fire Season is ash, the remnants of the world around you, fall on your EVERYTHING.

All it takes is one spark, traveling on a current of air, to spread it further. It can float over a house, crest over a highway, or scorch your path to safety. When you come from a state like this, especially one that offers a lot of outdoors experiences, you learn about the nature of the environment. That earthquakes only make sense because there are very clear and evident fault lines running down and through certain cities. That fires are set on purpose to clear the forest floor and make room for new growth. These are controlled and intentional.

I feel like I’m walking through dry land and throwing matches at everything that has been dormant. As if I need a set of circumstances to jolt me into reality. I’ve never had to evacuate a city because of a natural disaster or pandemic. I always left because there seemed to be nothing left for me there.

I have taken deep breathes in the fog of a burnt afternoon. I have survived longer than I ever thought. And although this doesn’t sound like a celebration, it is a confession that I am my own celebrant. Each day I wake up, I want something good to come out of it. Something hopeful. My reaction to the real world is generally one of disgust with a slight melange of bullshit.

It shouldn’t be this difficult. We all deserve better. But we can’t have that until we truly want better for everyone. That we recognize there isn’t a deficit but an abundance of what we need, some things and people just hold us back.

Wait…I got a match. 🔥