So Many Things

It’s a wonder that we get anything done. It’s a wonder that we can be filled with boredom. It’s been a whirlwind getting through the year. Then getting through a month. Then a day. Then the hours. Then I think, it’s been tough for a while now.

I am building my future. I’m building my future in a way I never thought truly possible because a “future” was something for other people. Worlds that could be created fluidly, with ease, normal hiccups, love, loss and life. Those who get to live this way, with average concerns, have no idea what it’s like to imagine, every day, that one misstep will destroy the morsels you’ve collected.

Destruction. Creation. Decay. Life. Cycles don’t stop for our birthdays and anniversaries. We are much more than the history months and this person or job is special day. We are asking for normal. Discouraged by normal. And yet we seek that which is familiar and comforting in patterns that barely keep us well.

What has changed for you in the last two years? How have you changed and adjusted? What have you embraced? What needed to be discarded…have you finished sweeping the rooms and mopping the floors? Have you felt like a storage space that needs to be filled, organized, reorganized and paid for? Can you even keep up with the payments?

The future I am creating could be so wonderful, if I believe it to be. If I know in my heart I deserve it. Populating it with people and things that create a rich existence. Removing things that negate the creating, the beauty, the joy.

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